How Did You Know You Were Lgbt Reddit
Thinking of coming out?
Coming out is a process of agreement, accepting, and valuing your sexual orientation/identity. Information technology involves both exploring your identity and sharing your identity with others. Coming out can be a gradual process or i that is very sudden. The first step unremarkably involves coming out to yourself, ofttimes with a realization that feelings you lot've had for some time make sense if y'all tin can define them as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or queer.
Coming out can be a very difficult procedure. Our society strongly enforces codes of behavior regarding sexual orientation and gender identity, and most people receive the bulletin that they must be heterosexual and deed according to society'southward definition of their gender. For gay, lesbian, and bisexual persons, in that location may be a sense of being dissimilar or of non plumbing fixtures in to the roles expected of you by your family, friends, workplace or greater lodge. Coming out involves facing societal responses and attitudes toward LGBTQ people. You lot may feel ashamed, isolated, and afraid.
Although coming out can exist difficult, it tin can also exist a very liberating and freeing procedure. You may feel like you can finally be accurate and true to who you are. Yous may find a whole community of people like you and feel supported and inspired. Even if it'due south scary to think almost coming out to others, sometimes the reward tin can be worth the challenge that coming out entails.
Individuals practice not movement through the coming out procedure at the same speed. The process is very personal. It happens in different means and occurs at dissimilar ages for different people. Some people are enlightened of their sexual identity at an early age, and others arrive at this sensation after many years. Coming out is a standing, sometimes lifelong, process.
Once you accept that you're lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer, you lot can decide to be out to others or to stay "in the cupboard." You are the only person who can decide when and how information technology is safe to come out. You may decide to come out in one office of your life and not in another. For example, some people are out to their families but in the cupboard at work; some people are out at school but in the closet with their families.
6 Stages to Coming Out
The Cass Theory, developed by Vivian Cass (1979) is a 6 phase model that describes the developmental process individuals go through as they consider and so acquire a homosexual identity. This model includes lesbian, gay and bisexual identities. Yous may detect yourself in 1 of these stages. Know that what yous are experiencing is completely normal and that many, many others have had similar experiences.
- Phase 1 – Identity Defoliation: You brainstorm to wonder whether you may exist homosexual. Along with other thoughts and feelings, you may experience deprival and confusion.
- Stage ii – Identity Comparing: You accept the possibility that you lot may be gay and face the social isolation that tin occur with this new identity.
- Stage iii – Identity Tolerance: Your credence of your homosexuality increases, and y'all begin to tolerate this identity. Although confusion and distress concerning your sexual orientation decreases, y'all may feel increased isolation and breach as your self-concept becomes increasingly different from society'due south expectation of you. In this phase, y'all often begin to make contact with members of the LGB community.
- Stage iv – Identity Acceptance: You have resolved most of the questions concerning your sexual identity and have accepted yourself as homosexual. You have increasing contact with the LGB customs
- Stage 5 – Identity Pride: You brainstorm to feel pride in being function of the LGB community and immerse yourself into LGB culture. In turn, you have less contact with the heterosexual customs. Sometimes you may actually experience angry with or reject the heterosexual community.
- Phase vi – Identity Synthesis: You integrate your sexual identity with other aspects of your cocky and so that it is just one part of your whole identity. The acrimony you may have felt toward the heterosexual customs or the intense pride you may have felt in existence homosexual decreases, and you can be your whole self with others from both groups. You feel more congruence between your public self and your private cocky.
Considerations in Coming Out
In coming out to others, consider the post-obit:
- Option someone who you feel is very supportive to exist the first person y'all come up out to.
- When y'all come up out, think about what you want to say and choose the time and identify carefully based on what will be most safe and supportive.
- Be prepared for an initially negative reaction from some people. Some individuals need more than time than others to come up to suit to what they have heard from you lot.
- Don't surrender promise if you lot don't initially get the reaction you wanted. Remember that you have the right to be who you are, and to be out and open about all important aspects of your identity including your sexual orientation. In no case is another person'due south rejection evidence of your lack of worth or value.
- If you have already come out to others whom y'all trust, alert them that you are coming out and make time to talk afterward about how things went. Find trusted allies who can help you lot cope with your experiences.
- Get back up and use the resources available to you.
Resources for LGBTQ Students
For gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and queer people the coming out process tin can be both difficult and liberating. For virtually people information technology takes time to know who you are. It is okay to be dislocated, or to be uncertain almost whether or how to come out. Recall, you lot are not alone. There are many others with the aforementioned questions and concerns that you take. There are likewise people and organizations that can back up or mentor you. It'due south important to detect the aid you lot need from the resources available to you. Hither are some resources that may be helpful.
Online and Written Resources:
One safe means of beginning to come out to yourself is through reading about how others have dealt with similar issues. There are many books and articles bachelor on all facets of LGBTQ life. These can include clinical studies on LGBT people, coming out stories, and resources for allies and families of LGBTQ individuals.
- A list of full general books on LGBTQ issues
- A list of coming out books for individuals and their families or friends
Other books related to coming out:
- Now That Yous Know. Betty Fairchild & Robert Leighton. New York, NY. Harcourt Caryatid and Jovanovich, 1989.
- Beyond Acceptance. Carolyn Welch Griffin, Marina J. Wirth & Arthur K. Wirth. New York, NY. St. Martin's Press, 1997.
- Straight Parents/Gay Children. Robert A. Bernstein. New York, NY. Thunder's Rima oris Printing, 1995.
Online resource for allies friends and family: Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG)
Academy of Washington Resource:
The Q Center is a University of Washington community whose mission is to build and facilitate queer (gay, lesbian, bisexual, ii-spirit, trans, intersex, questioning, same-gender-loving, allies) bookish and social customs though pedagogy, advancement, and support services to achieve a socially-merely campus in which all people are valued. Among many other resources, the Q center offers groups, brief crisis interventions, trainings, a safe and nurturing social space, computers, a library, an online discussion forum, and access to resource in the greater Seattle area.
In addition to describing their many services, the Q Center website offers all-encompassing links to other LGBTQ organizations on campus, such every bit the QPOCA (Queer People of Color Alliance) and Rainbow Grads, a group aimed at supporting LGBTQ-identified graduate lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, transsexual, intersex, 2-spirit, asexual, queer, questioning and centrolineal graduate and professional students.
Counseling Resources: Coming out may exist a difficult process and, it can be helpful to seek professional help and support from a counselor or therapist. The counseling services at the University of Washington are affirming of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and queer people.
Counseling Center
401 Schmitz Hall
(206) 543-1240
(brusque-term therapy, groups and outreach presentations)
Hall Health Chief Care Heart
Mental Health Clinic
(206) 543-5030
(individual & group therapy, medical evaluation)
Source: https://www.washington.edu/counseling/thinking-of-coming-out/
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